My life suddenly has a calendar that goes BTn and ATn.
A few days into this, I was overwhelmed. When you wake up in the darkness in a world of pain and the thought rushes in like a burst sewer, that this is how it is going to be for the rest of your life… That is overwhelming. So if you are smart, if you want to survive it mentally, you reframe.
And here’s two reframes I came up with. When I need to, I’ll pick one and keep it in my head like a fly-swat, batting away the buzzing cloud of hopelessness.
#1: The Great Punkin pops up in front of me. Incidentally, if you have not realised this about me, I am a gen-yoo-wine, card-carrying Atheist. Capital A. Mind ya, I’d never dispute the GP’s existence with you. Just a personal belief thing. Like if I come close to believing in the GP, it is that there’s not One up there and One down there. Just that there’s One and what It does to humanity (and animality, etc) is dependent on whether it is in a good mood or not.
Anyway… so the GP pops up and says “Okay buddy, here’s your options: Lead a life of unbearable pain… or maybe…let me take one of those things you seem pretty attached to… mmm?…your daughter? …. your doggie?… ”
See? Pain…shmain…
#2: The part where you feel your legs giving way under you is when you think about that “rest of your life” thing.
So… what if I’ve had some brain surgery and am going to be in intense pain while it heals… but it’s just a temporary thing. Soon enough, back to normal. Like BTn.
That works too. It’s a variant of “One day at a time (and don’t effing think about The Day After :-)”
All reframe suggestions gratefully accepted.
Ha ha.
Later edit: Reading what I wrote above, I think I better clarify this atheism thing (without going too deep into it and waffling on.)
I have friends and family who have deep and unshakeable faith, That is an essential part of them, of their goodness and I would never question their belief or want them to be otherwise. I really do believe that it’s a personal thing. And when I’m flippant about it, it is voicing my belief structure, not attacking that of others.
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